THERE'S NO MARRIAGE MANUAL
On April 14, 2019 I married my best friend and greatest teammate. Like all weddings, it was a day that marked our commitment to each other through all of life’s ups and downs. Benjamin and I knew that our anthem “through it all” would be tested and tried as we embarked on this journey of oneness; giving ourselves over to the choice of loving each other every day.
Almost five months in and we can confidently say that marriage is the most beautiful gift yet also the greatest challenge. The other evening I said to my husband, “You know what my favorite part of our wedding day was? The moment after we said goodbyes and were on our own in the car…I was just so ready to do this thing called life together.”
Marriage doesn’t come with a manual. Marriage doesn’t come with precise instructions on how to solve every problem or how to navigate through unexpected events. Marriage isn’t a vending machine that you can just put a quarter into and get what you want instantaneously.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. It was created by God to be a pure reflection of His heart; the endless passionate pursuit of His Bride and His Church.
Take a moment and ponder the significance of “two becoming one, never to be separate again.” Could you separate a stream that has flowed into a river? Could you separate two colors of sand that have been poured into one another? I dare say no. It’s not possible. To be one means our souls have been joined together until we meet Jesus face to face. And joined together we are, through every joy and every sorrow.
But does this mean that we knew how to walk as one the day we got married? Certainly not! (with a hundred exclamation marks following!) Let’s all be real: marriage is a pressure cooker by which we come head to head with our selfishness. It is a catalyst by which God prunes us so that our lives bear greater fruit. And oh how sweet it is to know that no matter what we will face with our spouse, God has a greater purpose in it all.
I thought the first few months of marriage would have looked different. I’m not sure if I was naive or just expecting the “honeymoon” stage to look differently. But I do know that God has been after my heart INTENSELY. He has been pruning me, just as I invited him to do so, and it hasn’t been all too fun at times but I’m okay with that. I am learning how to fully embrace the joys with the pain. I am learning that marriage doesn’t come with an endless list of Q’s and A’s that we can open up and find the perfect answer to. I am learning that perfection is not what my husband or my Heavenly Father require of me but something I have required of myself. I am learning that “life happens” and it’s up to me and my husband in how we will handle each situation that comes our way. I am learning that there is so much more beauty within me that I am just now starting to discover.
So, no. We don’t have a marriage manual that is on our bookshelf. We didn’t have perfect answers as to how to handle a miscarriage or poison sumac or two ER visits within days of each other…We don’t have perfect answers to financial stress. However, we do have the Word of God. We believe the Bible is Truth in totality by which the Holy Spirit shows us how to live a godly life. We believe that when we don’t have the answers, our Father will speak to us if only we choose to be still. The choice is ours. Every day.
And the choice is yours. Will you be still & truly know that God is good?