I'm sure you've heard it said that wives and mothers are the thermostat for the home. It might sound cliche but friends, it is absolutely true. It is a responsibility that we shouldn't take lightly and it is also a responsibility that requires SO MUCH GRACE from ourselves, our husband and our children. Believe it or not, we will never meet the perfect standard in our minds. (And side note: our husbands don't have a perfect standard for us either - we just think they do. Truly, 9/10 they are just looking for us to communicate)
I feel like most of you know what I'm talking about (generally) speaking when it comes to this topic, but I want to dig deeper. I want to share from personal experience where I failed many times and have learned different ways. I want to give you encouragement from God's Word.
My husband and I will be married 3 years this coming April. We are surely still "babies" when it comes to the amount of time being married. We've got so much more to learn, of course, but I can honestly say that I am SO PROUD with where we are today. We've come a looooong way and if you've been married for any amount of time, you know it is HARD SANCTIFYING WORK!
One of my greatest weaknesses in the beginning of our marriage and in the beginning of motherhood was letting my emotions run wild. I lost sight of reality SO MANY TIMES because I was too caught up in the emotion of _____ (fill in the blank). And because I wasn't as self-aware, I wasn't protecting the peace of our home.
Let me just say this.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than being right.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than having control.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than others opinions.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than outside divisiveness.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than hashing out an argument in front of our children.
Protecting the peace of your home is more important than the to-do-list.
Proverbs 31:25-28
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches over everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children and her husband bless her. Her husband praises her.
Read these verses 10 times through. I'm serious. Read them over and over and over until something sinks in...ask the Lord to show you something new in these verses that you can apply to your life.
So, what started to change for me?
That's a long story but I'll boil it down to this:
I prayed. Friend, I pray and cried out for the Lord to shift my mindset. I pray and cried out to the Lord to heal childhood wounds to adult wounds.
And I started to simply ask myself, "What is most important in this moment of tension?"
And then I started to allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way.
And He continues to show me different ways. Because He is just that faithful and good.
And when I don't know what else to do, I turn on that worship music and flood our home with praise. (wink wink)
I pray that something resonated with you above. I sincerely pray that you were encouraged and feel the Lord's presence over you, even now as you read (with probably your kiddos around and the house is a mess) It's okay! Remember, there is no perfect standard. You are free to feel like a mess...but Jesus is your Anchor through it all. And He will show you a different way to the things you want to change. I promise.
So much love to you today, friend.
~Hope